jkearney196

good bye everyone

"If You Were Mine"

[Chorus:]
If you were mine,
I'd be your everything and you'd be the only thing that I would ever need
If you were mine,
I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

Ohhh Yeaaa
Everything I dreamed about
Everything that I talked about
One thing I can't live without
I wanna get closer to you
Can't stand being far away
Knowing that you don't feel the same way
Questioning bring tears to your eyes

[Chorus:]
If you were mine,
I be your your everything and you be the only thing that I would ever need
If you were mine,
I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

Ohhh Yeaaa
All words I sing about
All that is that I write about
Only thing I wanna hear about
So that I can get closer to you
I know that there is someone else, but he's only thinking of himself
Doesn't make any sense for you to be lonely

[Chorus:]
If you were mine,
I be your your everything and you be the only thing that I would ever need
If you were mine,
I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

Ohhh Yeaaa
Let me be the one to share your hopes and dreams with
You'll never be alone again, cuz' I will hold you endlessly
Please don't be afraid to let your brokenheart guide you
Into these open arms that long to surround you, baby!!

[Chorus:]
If you were mine,
I be your your everything and you be the only thing that I would ever need
If you were mine,
I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

[Repeat Chorus:]

HI EVERYONE, MY NAME IS JASON

I AM HERE TO BE FUCKED OVER AND USED ALL THE TIME...

i seem to go out of my way and do good deads for others but then get fucked over in the end...

so take this as ur invitation to FUCK ME OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR USE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i love you world


NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god i wanna just call her back right now and talk to her but the way she asked if i was gonna call back seemed so wrong like she did not wanna talk at all anymore tonight.. i cant sleep on nights liek this... it makes me wonder if its all so true (how we feel for each other) at times like this.. cuz i wanna know that she cant sleep and calls me to fix it but idk if thats ever happened.. god i miss the old days... the days when we did not fight so much and did not argue everyday... i wanna just wake up from this bad dream that happens and just be smiling in her arms... cant wait for the day when i can say that we are 100% happy with each other again.. we hve so much wrong right now.. its gotta be fixed and worked on and ppls opinions need to be heard alot more and ppl need to be respected... god i just want her to stop for me, but she wont and she wont even try for me.. i feel so useless and so small right now... i feel like a grain of sand on the face of the earth and not the whole earth anymore.. i use to feel like i was everything and that special someone... right now i feel loved alot and all that good stuff but shit needs to be fixed.. i am so depressed.. MEGAN PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! CALL ME WHEN U READ THIS!!!!!!!!!

someone please help me...

i love you megan

-jason

right now i feel really really alone, i dont even know how to explain it... i am fucken doing what i hate doing, and that is crying... god i hate it
well first of all i wanna say that i feel this way cuz of a couple things.. first of all, i dont get to see or talk to megan like at all anymore, shes at school or work and so am i... our shedules are to much for one another again.. we will not get to see each other at all.... and that shit sucks more then anything.. shes the only thing that keeps me going.. god i hate my life... thanks megan for helping me through this all tho...
the other thing is, that lately if megan does not like something then i will go out of my way not do it, she knows that once in the while that my ex's call me or soemthing and i dont even answer my cell when they do for her... but yet again something with her ex came up and it was perfectly fine for her to talk about it and even plan do have somehting to do with him and she wants me to just accept it and go along with it. well its been killing me... i cant help myself but to cry at times cuz i cant even voice my opinion and not be heard.. i need her more then anything and i just need her to accept that i am very uncomfortable with shit and somethings she does... but i cant tell her all thats in my head cuz she would flip out on me... i am scared...

i love you megan, sorry that this update like is so shitty but i am very depressed and very sad and i cant help myself but to let it out... sorry babe...

i dont know what to do anymore... what if our shedules are way to much for each other and we cant handle the not talking or seeing each other part? what if i am the only one whos woried about it and the only one trying to find a solution? god i am so lost... please help me megan

i love you megan

-jason

well right now i feel like complete shit... and honestly i feel as if i am talking to myself, cuz liek no one other then megan reads my lj's.... ofcoarse u mean the world to me megan and dont think its bad ur the only one but sorry...

i feel as if even my small requests are to much for this relationship at times... why must she keep on smoking? why must we fight so much and argue about dumb ass shit all the time... god i could really use a vacation from my life right now.. i wanna take megan and run away to some hidden island and be alone for weeks and days on end... god i miss how life use to be back then when she made me quiet and wen the fights were so small and immature... now i am affraid of losing it all cuz of some stupid ass fight...

i feel as if i have lost all of my friends and everyone who i care about... i feel so alone... sorry but i cant help it... i feel like shit and that does not even explain it fully....

Can something or someone help me? please god help me.............

sorry for like complaining the whole time... sorry guys


g2g and hide somemore in the corner from the world... i love you megan. muah

i wish there was a way for me to express my feelings,
i wish there was a way for all the bad to turn into good.
i wish that all happyness would outrun the unhappyness,
i wish that we got along as well as we had wished.
i wish those fights, arguments and other bad times would all disapear,
i wish those great days would be ever day.
i just wish that we could be happy every day and all day...

thats how i am feeling right now... i feel really sad and confused inside, becuz we can have such great memories togetehr, but once we talk on the fone it all goes to hell... its killing me... i hate to wake up in the morning and to remember last night cuz of the fights and arugments... i just wish i could wake up a morning that we dont need to say sorry or remember those bad nights... god i wish they would all just go away....

i love you megan
i hope ur sleeping good

I LOVE YOU

well it has been over 24 hours now that we have been broken up, and alot of things have been said and done sofar.... it scary, crazy and very confusing.....

first and foremost i wanna say, is that i never thought this whole thing about a persons sexuality would bring so much confusion to my life.. is it that i am not good enough as a bf that someone would wonder, or is it that i am just that big of an asshole that i deserve this??? well i will never know....

i feel as if i should not allow anything else with me and megan to happen again, cuz i dont wanna hurt her or treat her shiity anymore.. i feel bad enough already.... i think she needs alot of alone time wihtout me to see what she needs and to see if she really does have feelings for me..

thee hardest thing with that is that i cant even go 5 minutes, well more like 2 minutes without talking to her on the phone, its so hard.. and i dont know how i can be true to myslef and give each other enough space and freedom that we need. its just that shes my whole life. shes the one who completes me and is the key to my heart to make me happy..
shes the first true love of my life, and honestly shes the one i wnana marry and have a family with and die with at old age...

i love her to death...

its just i cant do this no more. i need space and she does too.. we need to figure out what we need and want and can handle..
i cant go on treating her and being treated like what has happened... maybe its only the shot. but i will never know...

has she lost feelings for me? well all i wanna say is i hope to god that she hasnt....

I LOVE YOU MEGAN!!!!!!!!!

well enough of me complaining.. i am out... thanks for reading if u did read...

i love you megan

why must i be treated like this at home???? my mom is a totall bitch and she should realize how retarded she is... god she treats us all like shit.... my granny from germany is in town and shes even treating her like shit alot... i am fed up with this bullshit... thank god i am still allowed to live here tho, if i would be on my own i would be dead... i need to many meds to survive just one day...
i am just fed up.. sorry

ttyl

i love you megan!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: pissed off

i have like fucked up almost once to may times, i am really scared... i hope to god that all will get better and be fixed, cuz i know it will me... i love you megan, sorry for all the stupid shit i put you thru and all the shitty times we have... i love you megan

Current Mood: crappy

well just a few minutes ago, me and megan were on the fone, and i found this article online at discovery health about love, and there was this list of 9 things that showed if you were in true love, and no surprise at all, but me and megan honestly found all 9 to be us and it was crazy.. at first i felt as if we'd have like 1 or 2 the same as described, but shit all 9.. YAY!!!!!!!!!!! must mean its true love and ever lasting.. !!!!!!!! i love you megan, we even have proof of all 9 things.. the one that hit me the most was,"you can't explain why you're together"...

"true love is when you care about the health, well-being and happiness of another person to a greater degree than your own health, well-being and happiness" THATS SO US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there better not be any haters out there that try and think they are like us and try and steal my shit...

i love you megan!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: loved
Current Music: fan blowing in my face

my sister gave me a damn wedgie (spelling???)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it kinda freaked me out... and then i had a really good conversation with my sister... it felt good... thats it for now... peace

i love you megan!!!!!

Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: megan's voicemail from days ago

well this weekend went over very very very well.... lets see.. friday, i saw megan for a tad bit which was good cuz i cheered her up and thats a good thing... then friday night me and megan had some kind of argument about some stupid shit again, all worked out like usuall...also friday night i went to josh's and had a grill out and it was nice seeing mike and josh again..
saturday: well first, i had work from 930-130, and then after that i talked to megan for a short bit and then again some more later on, and then later in the day, i went and picked up rey, and then went to see megan and courtney for the night... we ate some pizza at brittani's house and, then went to aladdin's castle, and that was fun..... good time with my love... i love you megan... then saturday night was pretty much over after that...
sunday: well i woke up, talked to megan for awhile, worked some plans out, went and got rey again, and then us 4 went to kopps for some food. then we all went to 7 bridges, which was fucken awesome... god i fucken love megan and the good times we have... they dont compare to anything else... we had such a great time in the water and laying on the sand and taking a walk.. why must time go by so fast....

well that was pretty much my whole weekend... another unexplainable weekened in the lives of me and megan!!!!!!

i love you megan.......

well i am out... peace.....
i love you megan

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: SYSTEM OF A DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!

well yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life... well if anyone wants to know about it, then let me know or just call me...

but anyways... i hope to god that time fixes all things and that all will work out like i dream about... megan i love you, and i know its gonna be really hard, but we will work it all out.. i promise that...

kelli i hope that we hang out alot more in the future, i just wanna tell u that megan is gonna need u alot so yeah....

maureen, sorry about yesterday night, i dont know what went wrong but let me know whats up... sorry

courtney, we gotta talk sometime, and i know we will...

well to everyone, if anything ever happens, just remember that i am glad to have you all as my frends... so yea dont forget that...

well i am out.. i gotta go do something b4 i go crazy.....

i love you megan!!!!!!!!!!
peace

Current Mood: determined

well yesterday was one fucken awesome ass day... no one can try and say any different, i had such an awesome time with megan...

man if you wanna be really romantic, go to the lake at night time, and hold ur loved ones close to you and look at the downtown lighting.. its really fucken romantic

also, something else fun to do, is go sit in that lil parking lot by the airport on layton ave. and watch the airplanes land and take off... tis really nice....

well man, today should be another good day, and tomorrow the brewers games with megan and maybe other ppl. idk

well i will udpdate again tomorrow night...

I LOVE YOU MEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: the dryer running

well guys, i dont even know what to fucken say... lets just start by saying that i love you megan and i will forever love you... dont ever doubt that...

well friday night was just fucked up and if ppl knew the truth that it would not be such a big ass deal.... i feel so sad inside right now, that i cant help but to cry at times, i wish i could just hear megans voice every morning and night... omg i miss that, someday it will be that way again but it will take some time... untill she ungrounded...

well i cant go on anymore, its to much for me...

i have to go lay down and just hope to god i hear that one special ring tone come on my cell soon....

i love you megan

thnaks everyone whos there for me

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: silence

well today was a great day in my life, thanks all to megan!!!!! thanks babe!!!!!!!!!! i love you megan so much... muah..........megan what a day, thanks for the great conversation this afternoon... we needed it... i love you megan






p.s I LOVE YOU MEGAN!!!!!!


p.s.s SORRY KELLI!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: hyper

I LOVE YOU MEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: horny
Current Music: megan on the phone

Well where to start with this update.... Well first of all i wanna say I LOVE YOU MEGAN!!!!!
this weekend was a good one i must say... friday i hung out with megan and it was priceless... i love you..... saturday i did nothing but talk to megan till about 6pm when i went to see "Man of the House" and it was really funny. good movie ppl, go and see it.....Today (sunday) i did not a thing, i hung out with brandon from like 1-6 and talked to megan here and there.... and now i am talking to megan online till she calls me with a charged phone.....

Megan: I love you babe! i cant wait to spend all my life with you... i just fucken love you to death megan!!!!!!


Kelli: we need to have a serious convo sometime, i miss us talking and soemthing seems really wrong, so let me know whats up....

Other ppl: hey, idk what else to say....

Well thats enough for now... i am kinda bored of this so i will just go talk to megan now.... I LOVE YOU MEGAN!!!!!!

Current Mood: high
Current Music: award show on tv

Well today started out really good, becuz i talke to megan till about 120 am and then when i woke up, i talked to her again and then we decided to go to a movie. I went with her and courtney to a with and met up with their friend ben, cool kid. But today also had some bad parts, which i am so sorry about megan. i love you megan... sorry babe........we saw boogeyman, god that movie sucked... why cant i see a half way decnet movie now a days....??? Well after the movie was over we walked to walmart and then we went back by megans and went to stone creek... OMG I LOVE YOU MEGAN!!!!!! well that was my awesome day.......